ADHD, Trauma, and the Struggle to Keep Up: You’re Not Broken
It’s Critical To Address Trauma
Living with ADHD can feel like juggling ten flaming swords on a unicycle in a storm—and when trauma enters the mix, it’s like doing it blindfolded. If this resonates, know this: you’re not broken, and you don’t have to navigate these challenges alone. Everyone deserves support, and with the right tools, you can find balance, healing, and a way forward.
When ADHD and Trauma Collide
People with ADHD are 3–4 times more likely to experience PTSD. Trauma doesn’t just sit quietly in the background—it changes how your brain works, how you see yourself, and how you deal with the world. For someone with ADHD, this means emotions that feel super intense, a focus that slips through your fingers, and a constant feeling of falling short.
Trust is tricky, too. You may be worried about being judged or misunderstood. Or asking for help just makes you feel more incapable. That’s where a trauma-informed coach comes in—they meet you where you are, and move as slowly as you need with you, without judgment…so you can figure out what you need. You will make the call about what you need, not them.
How Coaching Can Help
Coaching isn’t about diving deep into your past—that’s therapy’s space. Instead, it’s about actively building a future that works for you. Trauma-informed ADHD coaching balances structure and flexibility. Helping you find the tools that fit your unique brain without making you feel like you’re failing a test. In fact, testing things out can feel like fun!
A good ADHD coach gets that time management and goal-setting approaches need to come with lots of self-compassion. They also know when to hit pause when things aren’t working, even if you’re not saying it to them directly.
Why Psychological Safety Matters
Safety is a big deal when you’ve been through trauma. It’s about more than just feeling comfortable; it’s about creating a space where you can actually grow. That might mean starting sessions with grounding exercises, setting clear boundaries, or just having a coach who listens and goes at your pace.
And if your challenges are wrapped up in other layers—like your race, gender, or identity—a coach who understands those intersections can make all the difference. Your identities and experiences are important, and a good coach finds the strengths in all pieces of your story, not just the ADHD part.
You Need Tools That Are Built for You
Forget one-size-fits-all worksheets and journal prompts. A well-trained coach will help you find tools that actually work in your day-to-day life. Maybe it’s a simple grounding exercise related to your pet to help you sleep. Tech hacks to get more out of journaling. Or they will help you optimize talking points for challenging talks (e.g., interview, boss, partner, parents, kids). It’s all about what is relevant to you and your story, not some random bag of tools.
Choosing a Trauma Informed Coach
Choosing the right coach is a really big deal—especially when trauma is part of your story. To make sure you’re in safe, supportive hands, here’s a list of thoughtful questions to ask during your discovery session — or just be aware of while working with them.
Advocacy may feel intimidating, but at its core, it’s about knowing what you need and learning how to ask for it. A well-trained coach can help you practice those conversations and figure out how to set boundaries that protect your energy and peace.
How To Interview a Potential Coach
Asking several questions can help you feel confident about working with someone who truly understands trauma and ADHD. A coach who is open, empathetic, and equipped with the right skills will be your partner in growth—not someone who unintentionally adds to your stress. Take your time, trust your gut, and remember: the right coach is out there, ready to help you thrive.
What you can ask and/or look for:
Client Experience
Have you worked with clients who have experienced trauma before? Their experience with trauma survivors will help you understand if they’re familiar with the specific challenges you face.
How do you create a safe and supportive space for your clients? Look for answers that include clear boundaries, nonjudgmental listening, and flexibility to adapt to your needs.
How do you balance ADHD strategies with trauma sensitivity? A trauma-informed coach should know how to encourage structure and accountability without triggering overwhelm.
Training & Experience
What training & experiences do you have in trauma-informed coaching? Certifications or workshops related to trauma (e.g., trauma-informed coaching certifications) show they’ve invested in learning this skill set.
How do we decide what should be addressed by therapy? Coaches should respect the boundaries between coaching and therapy and be willing to refer you to a therapist if needed.
How do you work with intersectionality? Trauma doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and a coach with DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) knowledge can better understand your lived experience.
Session Practices & Tools
What tools do you use to help clients manage overwhelm? Look for grounding techniques or mindfulness practices, which are helpful for staying present and reducing emotional intensity.
How do you check in with clients during sessions to ensure they feel safe? A coach should actively ask for your feedback and adjust their approach if something isn’t working for you.
Do you use any specific resources or frameworks in your coaching? Trauma-informed coaches often use frameworks designed to foster emotional regulation and self-awareness, such as journaling prompts, grounding exercises, or safe disclosure scripts.
Support Beyond the Session
What kind of follow-up support do you provide between sessions? Trauma-informed coaches may offer tools, exercises, or reflection prompts to help you process and grow between meetings.
Do you recommend resources (e.g., books, podcasts, or support groups) to help clients outside of sessions? Coaches who recommend trauma-sensitive resources show they understand the value of continued support.
How do you ensure that the tools and strategies you recommend are inclusive and culturally sensitive? Inclusivity is critical for making sure the coaching process feels relevant and respectful to your identity and experiences.
Personal Comfort and Trust
What does a typical session with you look like? Knowing what to expect can help you decide if their style matches your needs.
How do you handle it if a client feels triggered during a session? A good coach should be prepared to pause, offer grounding techniques, and revisit boundaries as needed.
How do you support clients in developing self-advocacy skills? Advocacy is a critical part of trauma-informed coaching, and a coach should help you find your voice without adding pressure.
Final Thoughts
You Deserve a Coach You Love
If you’re managing ADHD and trauma, you don’t need someone to “fix” you—you need someone who sees your strength, even on your hardest days. Coaching can help you take the next step, whatever that looks like for you. You’ve already been through so much. Now it’s time to take back your power.
And Until You are Ready for Coaching…
You don’t have to figure it out alone. There are resources out there like The Body Keeps the Score if you want to understand trauma better, or mindfulness apps like Calm that make it easy to practice slowing down. Support groups can also connect you with people who get what you’re going through—sometimes just knowing you’re not alone can make a world of difference.