From Invisible to Unstoppable: How to Be a Thought Leader Without Masking
Client: Tara, a Bold but Overlooked Neurodivergent Thought Leader
Tara was brilliant, sharp-witted, and unapologetically different. As a marketing strategist in the tech industry, she knew her stuff inside and out. But when it came to social media and networking, she felt like she was talking into the void.
She watched peers—many with less experience—gain traction, build connections, and get opportunities she wasn’t even aware of. Meanwhile, her posts went unnoticed, her messages ignored, and industry circles seemed impenetrable.
“I feel like I’m being shut out. Like people see me, but they don’t engage because I don’t fit their mold,” Tara admitted in one of our coaching sessions. “I know my ideas are good, but I don’t know how to make people care.”
The truth? People did care.
They just didn’t know how to engage with her.
Coaching Strategy: Reframing Visibility & Owning the Narrative
Instead of chasing approval from the “in” crowd, we focused on building her own influence—on her terms.
💡 Step 1: Shifting the Focus from Popularity to Power
I asked Tara, “What if the problem isn’t that they’re shutting you out—but that they’re intimidated by you?”
This flipped the script. Instead of trying to fit in, she realized she needed to own her space more boldly.
She refined her social presence to emphasize:
✔ Thought-provoking content over trying to be universally liked
✔ Starting her own conversations instead of waiting for an invite
✔ Engaging deeply with her audience instead of chasing shallow likes
💡 Step 2: Creating Micro-Communities Instead of Breaking Into Old Ones
Tara had been trying to get validation from people who weren’t her audience. Instead, we developed a strategy to:
✔ Find like-minded people by commenting on niche discussions
✔ Use LinkedIn & Instagram to spark direct conversations
✔ Launch small, focused discussions in DMs & group chats
💡 Step 3: Detaching from Reciprocity & Staying Consistent
One of Tara’s biggest frustrations was feeling ignored by industry leaders she respected.
We worked on shifting her mindset:
✔ She kept showing up anyway, even if she felt rejected when people didn’t engage.
✔ She treated her posts like a public speaking stage—some people might not clap, but they were listening.
✔ She tracked growth metrics beyond likes (DMs, shares, inbound inquiries) to see the real impact.
Tara’s Results: From Overlooked to Emerging Leader
3 months later: Tara was invited onto a panel at an industry conference.
6 months later: She was getting direct messages from brands asking for consulting work.
9 months later: She had built a tight-knit community around her work—without ever begging for attention.
Tara no longer got stuck on being “shut out” because she had built her own damn round table.
Tips to Handle Feeling Shut Out on Social Media
Own Your Space, Loudly and Unapologetically. If people are intimidated by you, they’re paying attention. That’s power. Lean into your uniqueness. The right people will find you if you consistently show up in a way that reflects who you are.
Find or Create Micro-Communities. Instead of trying to break into established groups, create your own. Start meaningful conversations in comments, DM people whose work resonates with you, or make a group chat with like-minded people. Collaborate—tag and uplift others with similar values.
Rework Your Strategy for Connection Over Popularity. Post in a way that sparks engagement over approval. Ask questions, share personal insights, and respond to comments like you’re talking to a friend. Leverage LinkedIn and Instagram Stories for direct interaction rather than just broadcasting content.
Use Your “Different-ness” as a Magnet. If people don’t know how to place you in their existing mental categories, make it impossible for them to ignore you by doubling down on your strengths. Example: If your content is sharp and thought-provoking, lean into it instead of softening your tone to fit in. If you’re more artistic and expressive, make that your brand.
Detach from the Need for Reciprocity. Some people won’t engage with you even if they admire you—it’s their own insecurity, not your worth. Keep putting your voice out there without the expectations of certain people acknowledging it.
Keep Showing Up Consistently. Algorithms love persistence. People who ignore you now might come around later. Keep posting. Keep engaging. Keep building. I know it can feel like a lot sometimes, but pick whatever activities bring you joy, not steal it.
Validate Yourself First. Social media is sometimes a reflection of real-life—people gravitate toward confidence and consistency. If you feel unseen, remind yourself that you are enough, and keep moving. The right people will find you. And when they do, they’ll be glad you never masked yourself (too much) to fit in.
Coaching Takeaway: You Don’t Need Their Permission
The world doesn’t always roll out the red carpet for different, bold, and brilliant people. But that doesn’t mean you’re not making an impact.
Tara’s story proves that visibility isn’t about being invited in—it’s about showing up, creating your space, and letting the right people find you.
And when you do that? Who the hell cares about who has the most likes?