ICF Ethics & Identity in Coaching: Why “I Can Coach Anyone” Is a Red Flag
Coaching is supposed to be a space where clients feel seen, heard, and empowered to grow. But there’s a creeping, insidious trend happening in the industry along with the DEI backlash. There are a scary number of coaches who claim they “can coach anyone” while simultaneously shutting down conversations about identity and subtly gaslighting both clients and fellow coaches who bring this up.
This isn’t just a difference in approach; it’s an ethical breach. Under the International Coaching Federation (ICF) Code of Ethics, Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging (DEIB) are not optional. When a coach refuses to acknowledge identity, they are actively failing their clients—and often competing with their peers in ways that stem from a scarcity mindset.
What’s Happening Here?
Some coaches aren’t outright saying, “Identity doesn’t matter.” They know they can’t do that. Instead, they mask their dismissal of identity under the guise of universality or faux-empowerment language. Here’s what that could look like…
“I don’t do identity politics. Coaching is about the person, not their background.” (Translation: Your lived experience is inconvenient for me.)
“Labels are limiting. I help people go beyond that.” (Translation: I’m uncomfortable acknowledging your labels if you want to use them.)
“I don’t see race/gender/ability—I just see humans.” (Translation: I refuse to recognize how identity affects lived experience.)
“If you’re focusing on oppression, you’re just giving it power.” (Translation: I’m gaslighting you into thinking systemic issues are your fault.)
“Mindset is the only thing that matters.” (Translation: I’m going to ignore how external barriers impact your opportunities.)
“I don’t want to make coaching political.” (Translation: I don’t want to be held accountable for my privilege.)
“Your identity shouldn’t define you.” (Translation: I get to decide what parts of you matter in this space.)
“I can coach anyone because real coaching is universal.” (Translation: I refuse to acknowledge how identity influences coaching needs.)
At first, these statements might seem neutral—or even empowering.
But they’re not. They’re erasure disguised as inclusion.
And it doesn’t stop there. They attack fellow coaches who invest in learning about DEI and embracing identity.
Many of these same coaches also undermine identity-affirming coaches.
A lot of this comes down to a scarcity mindset—the belief that there aren’t enough clients, opportunities, or credibility to go around. Instead of recognizing that coaching is expansive and diverse, these coaches:
Position themselves as the only “real” or “executive” coaches while subtly discrediting those who integrate DEI principles.
Compete instead of collaborate, using dismissive language to undercut other coaches rather than acknowledging different coaching needs.
Gaslight clients into believing identity doesn’t matter, making them question their own realities.
But let’s be clear: Coaches who minimize identity aren’t just making a strategic choice. They are actively violating ICF ethical standards.
Why Is This Unethical Coaching?
The ICF Code of Ethics and DEIB guidelines mandate that coaching be inclusive, equitable, and client-centered.
When a coach dismisses identity, they are:
1. Violating ICF’s Core Values
ICF explicitly states: “We are committed to being a force for good by fostering and demanding a diverse, equitable, inclusive, and just coaching profession. Ignoring identity directly contradicts this. You can’t claim to follow ICF ethics while rejecting the lived experiences of clients and fellow coaches.
2. Erasing Clients’ Reality
A Black woman, a disabled entrepreneur, an LGBTQ+ leader, or a neurodivergent executive will not experience the world in the same way as a white, straight, neurotypical man. Pretending that they do isn’t neutrality—it’s neglect.
A client should not have to:
Work so hard to have their experiences recognized.
Justify why systemic barriers impact their goals.
Defend why they want a coach who understands their identity.
If a coach dismisses these core realities, they are failing their clients before the first session even starts.
3. Gaslighting Other Coaches Who Address Identity
Many of these “identity-blind” coaches go a step further, discrediting fellow professionals who specialize in DEI-informed coaching. The subtle attacks on DEI-conscious coaches create a false hierarchy where:
Coaches who focus on identity are framed as “too niche” or “overly political.”
Coaches who dismiss identity position themselves as the superior, “real” professionals.
The conversation shifts from ethics and client needs to ego-driven competition.
This scarcity-driven mindset harms the entire coaching industry by discouraging the very inclusivity that ICF demands.
4. Breaching the ICF Standard of Client Autonomy
Ethical coaching is about meeting clients where they are, not forcing them into a one-size-fits-all framework. If a coach insists that identity doesn’t matter, they’re stripping clients of autonomy by refusing to acknowledge a major part of their reality.
This violates the very foundation of coaching, which is supposed to be client-led.
5. Creating Unsafe Coaching Spaces
A coaching space should be one where clients feel safe enough to explore their full selves.
When a coach minimizes identity:
Clients don’t feel seen or heard.
They second-guess their experiences.
They may internalize that their identity-related challenges are “excuses.”
This reinforces harm rather than facilitating growth.
Coaching Ethics Are Not About Preference—They’re About Responsibility
Some coaches will continue to argue:
“This is just my coaching style.”
“I prefer to focus on action, not identity.”
But coaching is not about the coach’s comfort—it’s about the client’s reality.
If a coach chooses to ignore identity, they are choosing to ignore real-world barriers, ethical guidelines, and the true needs of their clients.
That is not coaching. That is lived experience erasure.
Final Thoughts: A Call to Coaches
If you are a coach who refuses to engage with identity, it’s time to reevaluate your approach.
Ask yourself:
Do I understand and follow ICF Ethics & DEIB guidelines?
How am I making coaching about my comfort instead of my client’s reality?
How am I dismissing real systemic barriers as “just mindset blocks”?
How am I competing with or discrediting identity-conscious coaches?
Because if your coaching erases identity, it is not neutral—it is unethical.
And if you’re a client or coach dealing with this? You are not imagining things. You are witnessing an ethical violation.
Let’s call out this crappy behavior when we see it.