Coaches: Make the Be-Do-Have Model More Intersectional
The Be-Do-Have Model is often framed in a way that assumes everyone has equal access to the same opportunities, but that’s not the reality for people navigating systemic barriers due to race, gender, disability, class, or other intersectional factors. If coaches want to make it more intersectionality-friendly, we need to acknowledge privilege and structural challenges and redefine success beyond dominant narratives.
Background on the Be-Do-Have Model
The Be-Do-Have Model is a personal development framework that suggests that in order to achieve success, people should first embody a certain way of being (Be), take aligned actions (Do), and then experience the desired outcomes (Have).
This model is often contrasted with the more common but ineffective Have-Do-Be mindset, where people believe they must first Have (e.g., money, resources, confidence) before they can Do (take action) and then Be (successful, happy, fulfilled). The Be-Do-Have model flips this, emphasizing mindset and identity first as the key to transformation.
Many self-help and coaching philosophies, including Landmark Education, Tony Robbins, and various Law of Attraction teachings, use this model as a foundation for goal-setting, career growth, and personal fulfillment. However, while it can be a powerful tool, it often fails to account for systemic oppression, privilege, and the lived experiences of marginalized communities.
Why the Traditional Be-Do-Have Model Falls Short for Intersectional Identities
While the Be-Do-Have model works well for people with uninterrupted access to opportunities, safety, and validation, it assumes that success is purely an internal mindset shift—ignoring systemic racism, sexism, classism, ableism, and other societal barriers.
For example:
A Black woman in corporate America can “Be confident,” but if her workplace is steeped in racial and gender bias, she may still be passed over for promotions.
A disabled entrepreneur can “Do the work,” but if funding and accessibility remain gatekept, their results may not match those of an able-bodied counterpart.
A queer immigrant can “Have the mindset of success,” but if they face discrimination in hiring, that mindset alone won’t guarantee equal pay.
By ignoring systemic challenges and cultural realities, the traditional Be-Do-Have model can subtly place the burden of success entirely on the individual—implying that marginalized people simply need to “Be more confident,” “Do the work,” and “Have the success they desire,” without acknowledging the very real obstacles they navigate.
An Intersectional Approach to Be-Do-Have
To make this model truly effective for BIPOC, LGBTQ+, neurodivergent, disabled, and other marginalized individuals, we need to reframe each stage with systemic awareness and community-centered strategies.
1. BE: Reclaiming Identity & Challenging Internalized Oppression
Traditional Approach: “Be confident, be disciplined, be positive.”
🔄 Intersectional Shift: “Be aware of who I am beyond societal expectations. Recognize and unlearn internalized biases that tell me I am ‘not enough.’”
✅ Instead of “Be confident,” try: “Be unapologetically yourself and question systems that make you doubt your value.”
✅ Instead of “Be positive,” try: “Acknowledge systemic barriers without internalizing them as personal failures.”
An intersectional approach recognizes that:
Oppression shapes self-perception. Many marginalized people have been conditioned to feel small, undeserving, or impostor-like due to racism, sexism, ableism, and classism.
Code-switching and masking can be exhausting. Black professionals, neurodivergent individuals, and others often feel they must alter their authentic selves to fit dominant narratives of leadership and competence.
Healing and self-acceptance are part of ‘Being.’ It’s okay if someone doesn’t feel instantly confident. Instead of forcing a mindset, they can work on reclaiming their worth and identity at their own pace.
2. DO: Navigating Systemic Barriers with Collective Support
Traditional Approach: “Do the work, take action, stay disciplined.”
🔄 Intersectional Shift: “Do what works for my reality, while acknowledging and adapting to structural inequalities.”
✅ Instead of “Just hustle,” try: “Work in ways that honor your energy, capacity, and community needs.”
✅ Instead of “Take massive action,” try: “Take strategic action that considers both personal growth and systemic obstacles.”
An intersectional approach acknowledges:
The same actions don’t yield the same results for everyone. A white entrepreneur and a Black entrepreneur may both “network” but face vastly different levels of access and bias.
Mental health and rest matter. Productivity culture often ignores how intergenerational trauma, chronic stress, and financial instability impact marginalized individuals’ capacity to “Do.”
Community and collective action matter. Success isn’t just about grit and hustle—it’s about building support networks, mentorships, and mutual aid
3. HAVE: Redefining Success Beyond Capitalism & White Supremacy
Traditional Approach: “Have financial success, status, and material wealth.”
🔄 Intersectional Shift: “Have fulfillment on my own terms, not just by dominant standards of success.”
✅ Instead of “Have money and success,” try: “Have joy, security, and community in alignment with my values.”
✅ Instead of “Have everything I want,” try: “Have what truly nourishes me and my people.”
An intersectional approach allows people to:
Redefine Success Beyond Wealth & Power: For marginalized individuals, “having” isn’t just about money or status—it includes safety from discrimination, community belonging, and mental peace and rest, such as a trans person feeling secure at work, a disabled person accessing inclusive spaces, or a trauma survivor prioritizing healing over productivity.
Reject Toxic Hustle Culture: An intersectional approach challenges the idea that endless hustle equals success, instead emphasizing holistic well-being, sustainable work practices, and honoring personal capacity without burnout.
Embrace Collective Success: True success isn’t just individual—it’s interconnected, recognizing that personal growth is strengthened through community, accessibility, and systemic change rather than isolated achievement.
An Intersectional Be-Do-Have Model in Action
Instead of the rigid “Be → Do → Have” progression, an intersectional approach moves cyclically and fluidly to account for systemic challenges and personal growth. This adaptive, reflective, and trauma-aware approach ensures that success is not just a personal achievement but a collective movement.
BE: Reclaim identity →
DO: Take action that aligns with lived experiences →
HAVE: Define success beyond dominant narratives →
BE: Continue evolving based on new awareness →
Case Study: An Intersectional Be-Do-Have Model in Action
Client: Aisha, First-Gen Entrepreneur in Sustainable Fashion
Identity Factors: First-generation Black immigrant woman, neurodivergent (ADHD), financially responsible for family
Challenges: Funding discrimination, imposter syndrome, burnout, conflicting definitions of success
1. BE: Reclaiming Identity
When Aisha first started her sustainable fashion business, she struggled with imposter syndrome and the pressure to “perform” confidently in white-dominated entrepreneurial spaces. She internalized messages that she needed to “be more aggressive” in networking to succeed. Her ADHD made traditional business structures feel suffocating, but she masked her struggles to appear “put together.” Investors and mentors kept pushing her to make her brand more “mainstream” (i.e., white-centered) to gain funding.
🔄 Intersectional Shift: Instead of forcing herself to “be more confident”, Aisha worked on reclaiming her identity as a strength.
✅ She embraced her first-gen perspective as an innovation asset, recognizing that her cultural heritage brought fresh ideas to the sustainability movement.
✅ She connected with neurodivergent entrepreneurs, learning alternative ways to structure her business that didn’t rely on rigid systems.
✅ She gave herself permission to be herself in professional spaces rather than exhausting herself trying to “fit in.”
2. DO: Taking Action That Aligns With Lived Experiences
Aisha originally followed the traditional startup blueprint—cold-pitching investors, going to networking events full of white male VCs and trying to secure bank loans. It wasn’t working. Investors kept underestimating her brand’s viability despite her strong business plan. She was denied funding repeatedly while watching less-qualified white men get it. The overwhelming pressure to prove herself was leading to severe burnout.
🔄 Intersectional Shift: Instead of forcing herself to “do what everyone else does,” Aisha pivoted to methods that honored her lived reality.
✅ She stopped chasing traditional VC funding and instead built a crowdfunding campaign centered around community investment.
✅ She applied for grants designed for women of color entrepreneurs, tapping into alternative financial resources.
✅ She partnered with BIPOC-led sustainability networks instead of trying to break into white-dominated fashion spaces.
✅ She created an ADHD-friendly workflow, hiring a project manager to help with executive functioning challenges.
3. HAVE: Defining Success Beyond Dominant Narratives
At first, Aisha believed success meant securing six-figure funding and making it onto Forbes 30 Under 30. But as she reclaimed her identity and adapted her strategy, she realized those markers weren’t actually aligned with her values. Did she want rapid VC-driven growth, or did she want long-term sustainability? Did she need media accolades, or did she want a strong, loyal customer base? Did she need to prove herself to gatekeepers, or did she want financial security on her own terms?
🔄 Intersectional Shift: Aisha redefined success outside of capitalist and white-dominated metrics.
✅ Instead of chasing VC funding, she built a community-funded business with a strong foundation.
✅ Instead of overworking herself for status, she focused on scalable, sustainable growth that supported her mental health.
✅ Instead of seeking white validation, she built a brand that centered her community—with ethical production, cultural storytelling, and accessible pricing.
4. BE (Again): Continuing to Evolve Based on New Awareness
With her business thriving, Aisha continued evolving. She realized that her journey wasn’t just about fashion—it was about redefining entrepreneurship for people like her. She started mentoring other first-generation entrepreneurs to help them navigate systemic barriers. She launched an ADHD-friendly business course to support neurodivergent founders. She worked on setting boundaries to avoid burnout and stay aligned with her values.
Key Takeaways from an Intersectional Be-Do-Have Case Study
By shifting from rigid success formulas to an intersectional, adaptive model, Aisha built a business that thrived without forcing herself to fit into structures that were never made for her. Instead of a linear path from Be → Do → Have, Aisha’s growth became a cycle of learning, adapting, and thriving.
BE: Acknowledge systemic challenges & reclaim identity as a strength.
DO: Take action in ways that work for your unique experiences & realities.
HAVE: Define success on your own terms—beyond white capitalist standards.
BE (Again): Keep evolving, advocating, and building community.
Final Thoughts: Coaching with an Intersectional Be-Do-Have Model
If you’re a coach or leader applying the Be-Do-Have model, consider:
Acknowledging privilege and systemic barriers upfront.
Tailoring “Doing” strategies to people’s lived realities is not a one-size-fits-all plan.
Helping clients redefine “Having” to include well-being, safety, and fulfillment—not just money or titles.
Centering community, support, and advocacy as part of the process.
By making these shifts, the Be-Do-Have model becomes more empowering, realistic, and liberating—especially for those who’ve historically been excluded from mainstream success narratives.